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Captain America: Civil War

Updated: Jul 20, 2018

KLPD or "Left holding your Dick"

Director: Russo Brothers

Writers: Joe Simon, Jack Kirby

Stars: Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Robert Downey Jr.

Before I forget. I love Friday! I hope to God she remains a voice and never becomes self realised! Back to the review!

Civil War has all the Avengers but cant officially call it Avengers because we need a bigger villain. Also, why? I need to know how this film adds on to the Avengers narrative. I mean we already got the winter soldier in the last film. Truth be told, its plot would have been thicker if they would have merged these two. Also, the point is, their villain had a very twisted logic to have gone through all this shit. Twisted beyond the point of plausibility and believability. Ok. Ok. Ill go easy. It goes without saying that these characters are iconic and have been major pop culture influences for decades, way before celluloid. So do I need to waste space in writing how iconic and bad ass each character is? No. They are all mind blowing. But. But But. As random as Hawkeye, the plot ends towards a feeling of Meh! Why all this fuss? How does this help?

Even if we nerd the fuck out and forget everything, you have to mention, that like all heroism-led films, the major hook of the film is the "wit" these heroes maintain in face of great adversity. What is a hero who cannot crack a man-child joke in face of great peril. We love it. And this film uses it all. I am sorry, but I will not be sold on the Marvel Universe if Tony Stark doesn’t make light of a grave situation. Exhibit - Give me back my Rhodey. That is all I am going to say. However, the most refreshing thing about this film is not Steve Rogers, who despite being the titular character, is nothing but anal and catastrophically non communicative which does nothing for the conflict resolution. The most refreshing thing about this film is Tony Stark stepping up.

He is the responsible one, taking charge and creating communication. That does fuck up most of the Avengers in the end. Except Black Widow, who conveniently vanishes towards the end, just as her character should. Atta girl. God I love her. I wish they made as many action figures of her as well. Ant man is there only to show a trick up his sleeve. Black panther is there…for…monologues?

I dont know why people don't get me when I say this, but, the best thing about this film was the sweet little nerdy, awkward, 14 year old Avengers’ fan boy Peter Parker. Tom Holland is just the best spider man ever, even from inside his mask. Just a little teenager with an adorably geeky voice helping the big boys, and he is aware enough to know thats what he is. He enters and changes the whole vibe of the film. Even though I am not happy with the film’s ending, and am yet to realise the ending’s importance in the larger Marvel Universe, and even though this film has epic Marvel characters coming together with epic dialogues and action sequences and a decent amount of anxious pace about the fate of these characters, for me the most surprisingly refreshing take away from this film was our friendly neighbourhood Spiderman.

Civil War is a must watch to keep a track of the Marvel Universe, but Steve Rogers deserves more.

Rating: 2.5/5

Here is our review for Captain America: Winter Soldier

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